Two old men were sitting on a park bench visiting. Their wives were
sitting on the adjacent bench.
The first old man said, “I sure am having trouble with my memory these
days. Seems like I can’t remember anything anymore.”
2nd man: “I used to have that problem until I started taking those
little green pills.”
1st man: “Little green pills. What are they?”
2nd man: “I can’t think of the name. Let me see. I need the name of
a sweet smelling flower that comes from a thorny bush.”
1st man: “Rose?”
2nd man: “Yes, Rose, that’s it.” (calling to his wife): “Rose, what is
the name of those little green pills?”
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started
her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid, stand up!”
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you
think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?”
“No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk
remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated the
leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of
constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the
brujo looked him in the eye and said: “Let me say to you — with
fronds like these, who needs enemas?”
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses.
He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency
services.
He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can
I do?” The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies:
“Take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s
dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the hunter says, “Ok, now what?”