A diet race to lose weight

A man was ordered by his doctor to lose 75 lbs. As he wondered how the heck he would do it, he comes across an ad in the newspaper for a GUARANTEED WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM.

“Guaranteed. Yeah right!” he thinks to himself. But desperate, he calls them and subscribes to the 3day/10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there’s a knock at his door, and there stands a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old young woman dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign says, “If you can catch me, you can have me!” Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches and has his way with her. After she leaves, he thinks to himself, “I like the way this company does business!”

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program. The next day there’s a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but Reeboks running shoes and a sign around her neck that says, “If you catch me, you can have me.” He’s out the door like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze.

For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself and finds he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. “Are you sure,” asks the representative on the phone? This is our most rigorous program.” Absolutely,” he replies, “I haven’t felt this good in years.”

The next day there’s a knock at the door and when he opens it, he finds a muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads, “If I catch you, you’re mine.”

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